The Wall

Don't feel much like posting...in a very, very low-batt mode.. Yesterday was the day me and the associates would always remember. A little personal tragedy. The Wall has been encroached.. I'm not particularly inclined to divulge as to what is the problem with me..suffice to say that the clan and I would presevere. Yes, moving on and facing this life in the face of another..Having the strength to carry on..mountains still to climb..you know the works..

To anchaq and associates, as per General of the Felix Region in Gladiator ; Strength and Honour!

Occupational Hazard

It's a Wednesday. I am supposed to wrap-up all my classes by this week. Yup, it's week 14 in the course outline people, and many uni students are nervously waiting for exam week to begin. To me, what the week signify is that time sure zooms past! Tonnes (that's British metric system) of work are still left idle, serenely untouched, propped up at various corners in my office. the office is not as dingy as maktam's, it must be said, but all sorts of work-related papers are lying around miserably still. This week I was confronted with a few issues, like trying to decide whether to go to Bangkok or Penang for urgent meetings (of course work-related! I mean, hello...). For some the choice is rather obvious. I checked the valid date on my passport. Yup, we're good. Then again, Bangkok is currently bedlam, at least in some parts of the city. Protesters are taking to the streets, proof that democracy is alive and well but since I don't speak Thai, I am thinking..hmm..maybe NOW is not such a good time? So, that leave the option to drive up to Penang open...

All this made me think. I thought being in the teaching profession is a relatively mild sort of job, you know. the type of work people won't die in...but I am looking at things a little differently, now. We teachers are exposed to all kinds of occupational hazard. Well, I suppose all professions have their own sort of inherent or in-built risk factors but don't you go write us teachers off just yet. It's a no brainer that stress is a major cause for all sorts of diseases. In my line, we have stress for breakfast!! I mean, try teaching your child something good for them? Tricky? Well, now try teaching other people's child? Education is hard work. Then somebody said, teachers have all these spare time and holidays they could take. Itu pun hazardous. Don't get me started on travelling on local roads. Nk g meeting abroad pun, cam nak g Bangkok misalnya...susah jugak bila ada internal issues cam tu..so you see...life is hard. For everybody.

Tapi, really.Don't get me wrong. I am forever thankful for everything that I have. Syukur Alhamdulillah. We tend to only look inwardly kalau ada masalah. Trying comparing yourself to mereka yang lebih memerlukan. Muhasabah diri sikit. Memanglah manusia, mana ada yang cukup. I want to be mereka yang dah merasa cukup. Very tricky. Jangan stress out too much. Stress boleh, cikit2. Just know your limits lah kot...senyum, be brave and the rest, they say is biology!

1 Syawal 1429

It is actually the 8th of Syawal. Moi is back at work after a lo-o-ong raya break (at least it felt like it). Feeling moody and cranky today, the flu is setting in I think..been reading the sibling's postings and felt like a new post is called for. As per maktam's and maksu's postings, raya in my household is all about food, drink and be merry. And fireworks on the takbir night (where we do not have any tarawikh to perform). We have more ammo than we usually do the last two years. No 'KLCC" type extravaganza, but fun all the same. No police this year peeps, so that's an improvement! Were waiting for hadi the bilal to finish his rounds of takbir so we started quite late. The encore was almost midnight, I think.

This is the first year of raya without my late mother-in-law for my hubby. After much discussion, it is decided that he would spend two days of ramadhan and two days of syawal at Talang. He was accompanied by Afiq and Achap so Anchaq and I will spend raya in Sungai Ramal Dalam. Maybe this week Anchaq and I will go back to Talang pulak. Tukor shift gitu. More importantly, tengok my dearest father-in-law and everybody back at Talang.

Pagi Syawal, the usual drill. Masjid Hasanah is THE place to go. Baba went to pray somewhere else, Desa Surada and ended up jadi Imam (hmmm?). Back at home after prayers, start balik with the food. This year is a tad different. No nasi2, it's laksa time..scrumptious as usual maktam...hurrah!! the gateau du jour is sponsored by mak ngah. Secret Recipe's of course - chocolate strawberry (pls refer to maktam's blog for pix) - yes, start drooling!! And then off to umah Paman sebelah makan soto lak..kak mal and kak ipah's family on tow. I think we are seeing a pattern here people! Pastu g SA umah bangmim tgk my aunty. She looked well. Another round of assault on the ketupat-rendang. yum.

The next day, for lack of nothing better to do, I just casually cook for the household. Nothing fancy (really maktam! especially if it comes out of the packet)..just leftover urat yang we braised for hours and turn it into 'gulai ceghoi'. No pix of it which is sad, but it sure taste nice!! My hubby said so!! Oh speaking of which, die balik on the eve of the second raya to pick us up at my mom's. Lepas makan the biryani-wannabe, we head home. Anchaq tinggal umah ambah. Malam tu, Kema lak sampai dari KK, dengan Yong and hubby. All in all, that is Syawal this year. A time for family. It has been been a subtle one for me, but it did not lose any of the excitement. So, here's wishing everybody "alfun mubarrak, kullu 'am wa antum bikhair" from anchaq dan co ! I miss Ramadhan though..

14 days to Syawal

Salam Ramadhan people. Semalam on the way to Batu Uban, Penang, Radio Sinar (my tuned-in channel) pasang lagu raya. Lagu Sudirman lak tu, sayuu tak ingat. I was driving (well, my hubby sebenarnya) along the old trunk road from Kuala Kangsar and start revisiting the times in my memory bank of balik kampung raya (or balik raya kampung). Teringat masa balik kampung with my then very noisy siblings. Sume dengan perangai masing-masing naik the mitsubishi galant estate BBW 4473, sopi mesti dok belakang wit all the lugagges and foodstuff. we brought tonnes of stuffs. Baba mesti pasang tape Quraan by Sheikh Mahmud Khalil all the way (sampai pening kapla dibuatnya). Masa tu belum ada PLUS lagi, so kena lah lalu dari Kuala Selangor. My happiest memory was when travelling through the villages, tengok persiapan raya depa. pasang panjut ke tak. Lalu all the three states (Selangor, Perak, Penang) sebelum sampai Kulim. I hate the stretch from Bota to Changkat Jering sebab lalu Beruas, jalan cam ular kene palu. Doesn't sit well with my stomach. Pastu pasar Changkat Jering is a sight for sore eyes. Mama mesti nak singgah, beli 'choq penigham' either on the way pegi or balik, ngan some ikan wadi' (pekasam). The Pasar is an indication that the end of the destination is near and that we could stop and catch a breather sebab dah berjam2 dok dalam kereta. Semalam I saw the Pasar, and smiled inwardly. Some things change very slowly, but eventually all will change.

Anyhow, Siti's singing next door is my favourite raya song by Siti. Banyak lagi yang belum buat for Raya at no. 18 and 6028. Foodwise, household issues...baju hubby and child (arggh). Pelita belum keluar lagi, tunggu Mak Su from Alai? Mak tam refuses to do any cookies this raya, only popcorns and some bread and butter mushroom cheese thingy? Mak Lang have not given any feedback on the broken brand-new oven? Mak Ndak..well mak ndak tengah sort out some old stuffs to give away as per ambah's instructions last I check. The tension is building, but it's the tension we don't mind having. After all Aidil Fitri is setahun sekali. Cheers peeps, till the next posting.

Ramblings of a Travel Bug...

Baru dapat balik the camera from P.Ngah and uploaded the pictures to the PC. Ada gambo M.Su and P.Ngah's graduation (which I attended) in two different states. Ada gambo mase supervise my 'children' kat Tawau n Ranau. I quite like Sabah actually, travelled from KK to Ranau, which was very interesting, went pass the Tamparuli Bridge, u know as in the song? went up to Kundasang, ade vistapoint from which to see the peak of Kinabalu (which was awesome, I might add). People are growing shiitake mushrooms by the roadside, that was how 'nyaman' the environment. The sight of the peak was another matter..it was so massive, no wonder the bobohizan (Kadazandusun female shaman) believed that it was the dwelling place of all souls once departed from their earthly bodies.

Next stop is Tawau. This is the second time we went. I was planning nak beli ikan fresh and airpacked it to semenanjung sebab ikan sangat fresh and relatively cheaper. Tapi a source told us that ini musin bulan gelap, so fish is not as abundant. Takdelah this time around. As usual we went to the dry market and stocked up on ikan masin/kering. Ikan keropok is a big hit in my household..make mental note to self..beli lagi bebanyak next time, very useful kalau dah bosan tak tau nak makan apa, especially time sahur.

Some of the catch from Tawau Market. This time around tak nampak exotic fish sangat, like last time. Mmg betul ikan takde. Sotong pun tak banyak dan mahal sikit aroung RM8.00 a kilo, in March, ada yang RM2.50 a kilo... I mean compare to semenanjung? Sob...sob... So that's it from your correspondent. See you next time, take care y'all.

I Ramadhan 1429 H

I don't know why, but I am so looking forward to this year's Ramadhan. The surau is 1/3 siap so by mum's standard dah boleh pakai. I joined the Tarawikh on the second night, hoping that I'll be able to join as frequently as I could. Ancaq is also looking forward to pray ngan ambah, which is cool. My nieces had iftar with me, we had pomfret curry (who called bawal pomfret anymore, anyway?) and sambal tumis sotong kering from Tawau... I thot it was yummy, but my pomfret was upstaged by mak tam's seafood krabu? (wha?). In any event, lest we forget, which we often do...Ramadhan is the month not about food, it's about total submission to God. A hadith of the prophet mentioned that whoever fasts during Ramadhan, hoping for rewards from Allah, Allah the Merciful will surely grant it. Nak top-up iman bulan nie...better do it peeps, and soon...next ramadhan we could only hope to see

Musings

Dah dekat sebulan tak post apa-apa. Have I been busy you asked? Probably..probably not. Stress level is quite high nowadays. Work load? Do not even go there mon ami.. many people annoy me, but do I annoy people back? Tak sure pulak. Maybe ada. Gawd, let's just try not to annoy too many people all at the same time shall we?

Hari ni tukar template, sebab dah bosan and trying to refresh my mind a bit, that's why pakai this template, minima ochre? what the..? is there no other? Any pointers? tak leh ke nak pakai background ultraman ke..

According to allthingsyun there are so many things that had happened post-party. Yup, went to Skudai for the graduation of PNgah, it rained in JB, so the mood is sombre a bit. G Alai dekat Kandang. Quite a nice neighbourhood. Quaint is the word I'll use.

Okey...so this is the ikea sofa I bought to try inspire me to work more in my room...nothing fancy, tapi ade lah therapeutical effect jugak (as in plenty of uninterrupted Zzzzzs !) Planning to invest in a bowl of guppy fish...but not quite sure yet...we'll rethink about the plan...now gotto go...mak lang and mak tam nak ajak g some undisclosed location...will sambung balik, whenever I feel like it.. ciao baby! U take care now!

The Post-Party

Ayat is soo bapak orang now..quite weird gak sbnarnya to think of ayat that way..anyhow, the wedding went on quite smoothly. It rained a bit pagi, but the sky cleared twrds lunch. I was very ecstatic bile my old, dear friend McZue from Besut singgah dengan anak nak masuk 6..she did not changed one bit! Anak dia yang sulung dah F1 kat Sri Puteri Cyberjaya, so she went down to pick her up for the monthly outing. So, reminisce some time sikit.

This posting just nak citer pasal the pelamin tak mak lang n whipped up..yang ni yang gambar before. As u can tell, mak lang is being creative lah kan...pakai jer backdrop sedia ada..tambah beli kain purple ckit. Yang the white frame tu cik pipa punyer. Kursi, ttplah ambah punyer.. so yang ni is the finished product. Finish la kann...we are quite happy with the outcome..not too shabby for mak lang and mak long the fan!

Bekwoh (Big Work)

Salam people,

This week has been abuzz with activities. Moi currently is struggling with a very cranky throat. Rumah Paman sebelah is having a kenduri sambut menantu for Pak Ngah Ayat, this saturday. So, as usual umah ustazah jer lah yang jadi point of reference nyer kan? Chi Yan and Unie are the wedding planners. As of semalam, about 40% of the wedding dais dah siap. Pix, will upload later lah yea? So..the problem that I have is this, I am so into the wedding planner thing, but could not commit to it because I have all these really stressful documentation to complete like by yesterday? MQA/MQF thingy... not a happy camper..ni pun, as we speak Tuty and Azlea is helping me, tak cokop tangan..tak tau la sempat ke tak nak buat by Friday...EUW...so, that is all for now...nanti sambung balik citer sbb nak sambung that darn forms...

PhD - The [Pre]quel

It has been awhile since my last post. Mak Tam was concerned about the lack of activity from this quarter. Rightly, I might add. Dah banyak sangat stuff that happened from the last post, my life's pretty much altered forever. Milestones, only a few but very significant few. The first week of April for instance, and then the trip to the North...sumenyer will be forever etched in my head. Betullah cam Mak Tam cakap...we need to update ourselves..we will...

She was also right about some other things. I started another phd journey, convinced that the first one is not happening. Started class 'research methods' yesterday. The difference is, I felt a bit more confident this time around (it took me long enough, I should be!)...insyaALLAH kot

I also (finally) got around buying THAT sofa frm IKEA...and my office is now transformed! Just in time for the new semester...will try to upload the pix from my office just to spite all of ya! Till then, may the Force be with U!

Al Fatihah II

Yesterday will always be the day I will never forget. The passing of mother-in-law in KK. I went back to my husband's hometown, sampai around 10.30. The day reflect the somber mood that my husband and I was feeling. Even anchaq was quite, mirroring our thoughts. The fog is barely lifting as we wait for the traffic light to turn green. It was drizzling. My husband was sad, I could just feel it in him, although he put up a brave front. I could only guess what's playing in his mind and heart. My prayers to my dearly departed and thoughts to my dearest hubby. Yang and Lid's wife greeted my return. My heart gave out when Yang told me to calm down. All those feelings remained forever unknown.

We went into the house. It was drizzling still. Tah was lying there near the door. She looked small. Her face lined but she looked rested. Like she was glad to be able to leave all of her troubles behind. Dear Tah, I pray that your soul would be among those favoured by Allah. I thank you for the blessing that is my husband and how you had thought them well. Tah, may Allah forgives all our sins and may you rest in eternal peace.

I then went to see Bapak with anchaq, Lid led the way. He looked well, although bed-ridden, he can't hear me much. He looked very much like Abang. How he must have been hurting, knowing that his companion had left him, lying in the next room. I took his hand and kissed it, willing my sadness and my thoughts to flow from my heart to his. He is quite calm, saying thanks for visiting, always the proper gentleman. My dear father-in-law.

The rest was quite a blur, I remember greeting Wah, who tried to take her hands away from me. I asked Yang for the Yaasin, my last gift for Tah. I read for her, asked anchaq to do the same. Afterwards I went to sit by Yang, I felt an immense burden was lifting, although somehow I just felt uneasy against the unwanted attention. I went and saw the preparations for the bathing ritual. The wash basin that Rahmat was preparing. I was aching to do some heavy work, just to stop my thoughts from going into an overdrive. It appears that there was none. Luckily my husband came to my rescue, relieving me. I asked to go to KK, some business to attend to I said. He looked into me and understand, as I understand his thoughts. Okay, he said and asked Yang to accompany me to the car. we said goodbyes. Anchaq asked when he would see his baba again. Baba said he'll call and let him know. I thought that was nice of anchaq.

After filling up in KK, we drove back. I saw a familar Pajero negotiating the turn after the Menora Tunnel, en route to KK. The rain was intermittent. Stopped by the office, some unfinished matters. Still my thoughts are in KK, to my husband and his grieving family. From the Lord we came, on unto Him we will depart.

Kerja, kerja, kerja..(ala Kembara)

Supposed to finish a lot of work, but apparently that is not happening is it? Nanti ada kelas, so kene prepare tu dulu. Ada circular suruh tgk2 kan student bermasalah. Masa bile pulak la moi nak cari those students. Smlam siap migraine sbb depa tak buat the assignment. Was I like that before? During my school days? So smlm dapat kuliah senapas free jerlah bebudak ni. I was so mad my voice was shaking. tepikir pulak if I was camtu jugakmase student, could not care less bila cikgu suh baca..tapi mase kat UK dulu cam nak pengsan a night before to membaca sbb esok ada seminar yang cikgu nyer suke bertanye...students nowaday? could not care less, apa agaknya yang jadi the main occupation in their heads, I would really like to know...bukan senang nak idup sekarang, belum abbis U lagi dah incurr debt, keje belum tentu dapat spt yang dihajati...yang dikecohkan reality tv shows jer kan..yang menguntungkan certain quarters jer..wake up people, before its too late..

2007 has left the building...!

Went with a quiet poof that one. Yes, I am still here, not going anywhere just yet. In fact not going anywhere at all. No success with that stuff I promised my supervisor. So this year I am going to chnage the landscape a bit. Kenalah ada plan B plak kan..so far dah 12 hari into the new year, keje tetaplah betimbun, smpi mati pun belum tentu habbis so we will presevere. Got a meeting with somebody important at MSN in relation to my research yesterday. That felt good! Anchaq is not quite well today. In any event, I ma quite happy to be back blogging. Just go on to show that blogging will not harm you! To all the people out there...Rock on!!